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pinger05
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Posts: 362
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2004 1:28 am
Real Name: Dan
Sex: Male
Years Riding: 10
My Motorcycle: 2005 Yamaha V-Star 650
Location: Colorado Springs

#21 Unread post by pinger05 »

My troops and I were in the Mini Van of Death Wednesday on the way to a promotion ceremony. Derek T was riding shotgun, Charlie was in the back where Josh normally sits and Derek B was sitting where Cathlynn's car seat normally is. All of the toys in the car are usually at Cathlynn's feet that includes a baby "Palm Pilot" that sings.

So Derek B is sitting there and he accidentally kicked the baby palm pilot. The baby palm pilot started singing the ABC song. Derek had no idea where the song was coming from. The singing must have freaked him out because he started looking around franticly seeking the source of the annoying song. Sensing his frantic Derek T turned around, looked then said:

"OH MY GOD, YOUR CROTCH IS SINGING THE ABC'S".

Derek T then did a double take and caught a glimpse of the baby palm pilot's smiling face then said:

"YOUR CROTCH IS SINGING THE ABC'S AND I THINK IT JUST SMILED AT ME".

From now on I am not offering to drive.
2005 Yamaha V-Star 650 Classic
Ural Patrol <Wish list>
All it takes for evil to triumph is good me to do nothing

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pinger05
Legendary 300
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Posts: 362
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2004 1:28 am
Real Name: Dan
Sex: Male
Years Riding: 10
My Motorcycle: 2005 Yamaha V-Star 650
Location: Colorado Springs

#22 Unread post by pinger05 »

The other day at the grocery store they had Planters Honey Roasted Peanuts on sale for $.99. This wasn’t the little bag or even the 10 oz tin, this was the huge 3 pound plastic jug o peanuts. I love peanuts so I bought one and took it to work. That’s where I came up with the idea.

After everyone came back from lunch I held up my 3 pound jug o peanuts and said:

“Wanna help me find my nuts?”

As if that wasn’t enough I saw the expiration date of the nuts which was 9 Feb. So I followed with:

“My nuts expire soon”
2005 Yamaha V-Star 650 Classic
Ural Patrol <Wish list>
All it takes for evil to triumph is good me to do nothing

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pinger05
Legendary 300
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Posts: 362
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2004 1:28 am
Real Name: Dan
Sex: Male
Years Riding: 10
My Motorcycle: 2005 Yamaha V-Star 650
Location: Colorado Springs

#23 Unread post by pinger05 »

<b>Not sure if anyone reads this beside me but I will continue to post even though I think I am talking to myself</b>

The other day I was working with a customer on a very complex problem. About 15 minutes into troubleshooting the customer was very frustrated. He was angry that he was having computer problems and trying to take it out on me. Being smarter than to let his anger get to me I diffused his personal attacks about me and kept working on the computer. Another 5 minutes pass. That is when I told him that the problem was the LAN cable, the switch or the router he was connected to. He was so frustrated at that point that he asks me:

“If it isn’t the cable the switch or the router what could it be”

Now I am angry and loose my cool and say <b>“All that is left is an act of God.”</b>

The customer then asks if he could speak to one of the brain surgeons in my shop. Either he was insinuating that I am an idiot or he thinks that all surgeons work on computers. You choose.

I told him that the smart people left for lunch together, kind of like a geek convention. So when this guy calls I make sure to be working on something else... :frusty:
2005 Yamaha V-Star 650 Classic
Ural Patrol <Wish list>
All it takes for evil to triumph is good me to do nothing

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pinger05
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Location: Colorado Springs

#24 Unread post by pinger05 »

Somehow my Jewish troop and my other troop got on the topic of the mafia. My Jewish troop told us that there was a Jewish Mafia back in the day. The non-Jewish troop looked at me and asked this:

So when you get whacked by the Jewish Mafia do they say “You have been koshered?”
2005 Yamaha V-Star 650 Classic
Ural Patrol <Wish list>
All it takes for evil to triumph is good me to do nothing

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pinger05
Legendary 300
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Location: Colorado Springs

#25 Unread post by pinger05 »

<b>Dan’s top 10 Not-So famous quotes:</b>

10) Wanna help me find my nuts??!!
9) You need to help me eat my nuts – they expire soon.
8 ) Don’t let the magic smoke out inside.
7) You’re stupid; I want to talk to one of the smart people.
6) You’ve been koshered.
5) And you called me why?
4) Who wants a hard one?
3) Your crotch just sang the ABC’s!
2) We have plenty of gas to make it to the next gas station.

And Number 1

1) You can’t use the 5th amendment in bed
2005 Yamaha V-Star 650 Classic
Ural Patrol <Wish list>
All it takes for evil to triumph is good me to do nothing

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pinger05
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Location: Colorado Springs

#26 Unread post by pinger05 »

<b>Who let the magic smoke out?</b>

There is a principle in electronics called Magic Smoke. It is a layman’s theory and goes as such: When an electronic component stops working it gets hot and smokes, therefore there is some kind of magic smoke in all electronic components that make them work. The saying goes that an electronic component is bad only when the magic smoke is let out.

The other day my troops and I were standing outside waiting for our boss to show up. Somehow our conversation turned to the magic smoke theory. During one of the lulls in the conversation one of the guys looks at me and says “Here comes the magic smoke” then lets one rip. This isn’t your normal flatulence – this was one of those grey clouds that follows you round the rest of the day.
2005 Yamaha V-Star 650 Classic
Ural Patrol <Wish list>
All it takes for evil to triumph is good me to do nothing

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pinger05
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Location: Colorado Springs

#27 Unread post by pinger05 »

Kids will say the darndest things.

Case in point was two weeks ago at my oldest sons birthday party. We held the party at our local bowling alley to cut down on the destruction in our house. Ten kids showed up hungry and hyperactive. Michelle and I got them shoes, bowling balls, and down to the lanes without incident. Then as the kids were bowling one of the older ones pulls out a cell phone. In this day and age it wasn’t a big shock. So in-between his turns he plays a game on the cell phone.
One of the girls sees him playin on the phone and goes to watch in-between her turn bowling.
Everything was ok with me till the little boy was up to bowl, turns to the girl and says “Don’t touch my stuff!”
2005 Yamaha V-Star 650 Classic
Ural Patrol <Wish list>
All it takes for evil to triumph is good me to do nothing

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Scoutmedic
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#28 Unread post by Scoutmedic »

:lolsign:

You're definitely not talking to yourself, well, not anymore anyway! Great blog.

User avatar
pinger05
Legendary 300
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Posts: 362
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2004 1:28 am
Real Name: Dan
Sex: Male
Years Riding: 10
My Motorcycle: 2005 Yamaha V-Star 650
Location: Colorado Springs

#29 Unread post by pinger05 »

The weather in California

Background information: I live in South Western Germany near Frankfurt. My mother-in-law lives in California.

At 10:30 on Wednesday night I get a call. It is my mother in law. She told me that she is planning a trip to see her son (my brother-in-law who also lives in California) this week. She has no idea what to pack so she asks me what the weather is like. HELLO I LIVE IN GERMANY, KINDA FAR AWAY FROM CALIFORNIA.
2005 Yamaha V-Star 650 Classic
Ural Patrol <Wish list>
All it takes for evil to triumph is good me to do nothing

User avatar
pinger05
Legendary 300
Legendary 300
Posts: 362
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2004 1:28 am
Real Name: Dan
Sex: Male
Years Riding: 10
My Motorcycle: 2005 Yamaha V-Star 650
Location: Colorado Springs

#30 Unread post by pinger05 »

The other day my wife and I were in the living room. We had locked the boys out so we could have some time to talk with the Missionaries. After a few minutes Matt (the oldest) got a good idea. He asked the youngest if he wanted to be a battering ram. Josh (the middle child) said sure. Matt then picked up Josh and proceeded to use Josh's head as ram.

From our perspective we were talking about children and how much energy they have. We heard the oldest say “Josh, you want to be a battering ram?”

“Sure” replied josh

---BANG---

We had to let them in at that point because we didn't want them to get hurt and because we were laughing soo hard.
2005 Yamaha V-Star 650 Classic
Ural Patrol <Wish list>
All it takes for evil to triumph is good me to do nothing

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